Midnight Walks Calm Me
by Jade Unicorn
Summary: Somebody eavesdrops and gets more than they expected.


Title: Eavesdropping  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.  
By: Jade Unicorn  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: Somebody eavesdrops and gets the information of a lifetime.  


* * *

You know that its entirely too cold to be out when you can see your breath in front of you. But stupidly I walk on around the block because I couldn't sleep. I couldn't handle being in there anymore. Just knowing that she was in the next room was killing me inside. I wanted to run in there and hold her and make love to her, but I can't. We're just friends, nothing more, nothing less. Even though I look at her with lust, she looks at me with nothing in her eyes. And sometimes that's more than I can bare.

"Hello stranger." Harmony calls out to me. How she's managed to stay alive, or walking dead however you see it, is beyond me.

"Hey Harmony." Suddenly it seems like such a long time since I've been in Sunny Dale. Such a long time since I was joking around with Buffy and being friends with Willow, Oz, and everybody else.

"What are you doing out?" She questions.

"Couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk." I try walking away from her because at this moment I don't want to talk with anyone, dead or alive. I'm so far from my former self that it scares me sometimes.

Fortunately for me she takes the hint. "Just tell her that you love her." Harmony speaks. I turn to question her but she's already gone into the night. I scoff, vampires, they think that they know everything. I can't tell her that I love her, though I desperately want to.

Personally, I don't think that I could handle that kind of heartache if she turned me away. Its hard enough for me to be friends with her and not confess my eternal love to her. By now I've made my way back to the hotel. I see a light on and assume that it must be Angel up. He had the habit of worrying over cases so much that he would stay up at night to work on them.

Soon I found that I was wrong, it wasn't Angel that was up, it was Fred. She was pacing the length of the floor talking to herself. She seemed to be practicing a speech because she would begin and then stop only to start the same words over again. I managed to sneak inside without her knowing it. She practiced her speech once more and I chose to stay in the corner so that she couldn't see me.

"I really like you, a lot. And I want us to be more than friends. No...You know that we're friends right? Well I like you more than a friend." She sighed and sat down, still not noticing that I was there. Her back was turned to me as she began once more. "Maybe I should tell her how I feel. Yeah right, Cordelia every night I think about how your lips would be on my body. How it would feel to make love to you until your hoarse from screaming out my name."

I could feel my jaw hit the floor. That's how she really felt? That's who she had fallen for? My heart was pounding my chest, this was a life changing thing. This changed how I looked at Fred completely. But I didn't want to believe that she had said the name "Cordelia." I found that I couldn't speak as my mind reeled with thoughts.

But when I did think about it, there were times when I could have questioned Fred's sexuality. But she usually acted so hung up on Angel that I pushed it out of my mind. Every time he walked into a room, she started drooling. Like a little puppy. Who would have guessed?

I needed to make my exit before she noticed. She would have killed me if she knew that I had been listening. But I ran out of time. She carefully got up from her seat but caught sight of my worried body. "Cordelia!" She squeaked. "How long have you been standing there?" I could see the fear building up in her eyes as her voice was beginning to get shaky.

"I heard everything." I finally broke my silence. I wanted to lie to her and say that I didn't hear anything, but I couldn't. There was a time when I might have gotten grossed out about hearing that some girl had a crush on me, I was Queen C the bitch after all.

"Oh my god." She kept repeating over and over again. Her body seem to fall into the chair as she kept repeating the phrase like it was a mantra.

"We need to talk." As soon as I said the words she darted from her seat and upstairs. I started to go after her but I figured that she needed a minute. Okay, so I was lying to myself, I needed a minute. What would I say to Fred once I got in the same room as her again.

This was going to be one long ass night. I was sort of wished that I hadn't have eavesdropped on her in the first place now. But then again, this could work out to my favor.  


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To Be Continued   
e-mail me at: tenryu@excite.com 


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